Super Bowl LIII: Worst Super Bowl Ever?

Tom Brady (12) eludes a sack by reigning defensive player of the year Aaron Donald (99). (Photo: MARK J. REBILAS, USA TODAY Sports)

Is your preference of a great gridiron duel involve one team going three and out and the punter getting more yards through the air kicking the ball than that team’s offense, only for the other team to hardly do anything except kick a few field goals and then FINALLY punching one in for six late in the 4th quarter?

If you answered yes, you may be certifiable.

But maybe not.

Listen, there isn’t wrong with playing a little defense. That’s part of the game! But being part of the WHOLE game!? I understand football is supposed to be a physical, arduous game of hitting people and knocking them into the next zip code, but these days people want to see offense. We love seeing offenses march up and down the field and score, and put up points and watch a duel that comes down to the final seconds. We want to see both teams combine for hundreds of points combined. We want to see players doing the limbo or doing a choreographed dance in the end zone. With all the new rules that the NFL has installed into the system of play, the laws of play favor the offense. We see quarterbacks throw for more yards than ever. 5,000 yard passing used to be a treasure, a remarkable milestone. Now, it’s common to see someone do that each year; it’s not as impressive.

You would of thought with how dynamic the Rams offense was the whole season, and how Tom Brady can engineer a touchdown drive with ease, we would have seen an offensive clash.

But we didn’t. We saw an offensive stalemate for most of the game. Jared Goff looked more like Jared “Off”. The Rams played more like lambs. Belichick proved once again his defensive genius is no match; you might as well call him Hannibal Lecter because he silenced those lambs.

And of course, the NFL has conditioned us to enjoy games based on powerhouse offenses and a lot of scoring. This is why no one seemed to enjoy it. This why my friends at the Super Bowl party yawned and put the chips away early. There wasn’t much left to see.

Was this the worst Super Bowl ever? Some may think so, others who might find the pleasure seeing hard-fought, defensive battles might beg to differ. But whether you prefer offensive juggernauts or hard-bitten defense, at least we can come to a consensus that the Maroon 5 halftime show was garbage.

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